Captivated By You: Chapter 3 B

jade

Just as everyone was busy chatting on the public forum, during the lively spectacle, suddenly, a voice emerged in the room. A very low articulate voice rumbled through, indolent with a trace of gentleness, it wasn’t unreasonable to describe it as jade, a tender murmur, charming and gentle, distinctly clear as if it was right in your ears, so pleasant that it made one tear up.

“What are you guys talking about? It seems quite interesting.”

Mo Lan froze.

The public forum also froze.

After a few seconds, the public forum flared up, and Mo Lan also flared up.

“What did I hear? Mi Da you’re here!”

“It’s the actual person’s voice… and it’s on YY… oh my god…”

“I’m going crazy, going crazy, going crazy! It’s real!!!”

“Who can understand my feeling of hiding in bed and biting my quilt with excitement while not being able to scream… I’m going to be strangled to death! Male god I love you!”

Mo Lan suddenly felt a little sentimental. The last time she had heard Secretly Captivated’s voice in YY, it was three years ago…

Secretly Captivated’s voice transformed to match the ancient-style accent and tone of the drama. Certainly gorgeous and romantic as well as distinguished and aloof, but just now when he spoke, he used his true voice from the real world.

In the real world, it was naturally impossible for a person to speak in the same manner as in the drama, rich with emotions. Secretly Captivated’s natural voice was somewhat different from the voice that was now being transmitted online through the electronic gadgets.

Mo Lan practically took into account all of Secretly Captivated, who rarely joined YY events, she resolutely clenched her hands and knew that she likes his natural voice even more. Very magnetic, low, somewhat indolent, somewhat gentle and soft. When he spoke, he would give you this illusion that at that very moment you seemed to be the only one in his eyes, even if he just merely greeted you with the most common words ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye’.

The first person to respond was Su Qingmo, he chortled, a bit of happiness in his deep voice: “Xiao Mi, you’ve finally arrived. Haven’t met you in such a long time, your voice is still the same as before killing in one blow ah…”

Bai Yu Luo Bo also came back to his senses, with a coy tone: “Ah Mi Ah Mi! I miss you so much, when are we going to meet again ah~”

Secretly Captivated chuckled, his low tone reverberated in the YY room, as if the ice melted and the snow thawed, he merely listened, as if he was tipsy: “You were already going to expose my 3D world, would I still dare to meet you face to face?”

The fans on the public forum, at this very moment, all of them were basically already in a frantic state.

“WTF! He is indeed the man with his own BGM! Just by chuckling he made me think of the distinguished and accomplished handsome young marquis, you know!”

“Asked you for one with bright eyes and white teeth, unexpectedly you gave me a blind woman*… Mi Da, the tone you used when you uttered this phrase has been deeply etched in my mind. After listening to it that year, my blood tank has been empty up until now ah!”

(From the Difficulty Loving Deeply radio drama)

“Am I the only one who wants to cry… How long has it been since I’ve heard you talk in YY…”

“Upstairs*, you are not alone!”

(referring to the previous post i.e. upstairs from the current post)

“You are not alone +1”

“You’re all pathetic! Male god recently likes to sing Kunqu opera! How about《The Peony Pavilion》?”

After about ten seconds, the host Zi Liuli seemed to have finally recovered from Secretly Captivated’s voice. She cleared her throat and with a vagued and indifferent tone, “Mi Da… I’ll confess first, I have been your fan for a long time, knowing that you are coming out from retirement I nearly screamed out loud in the office…” From her sweet voice, it sounded as if she was about to cry, she immediately sniffed, and tried to get back to normalcy. “Okay, I know everyone is currently very excited, but let’s first get Mi Da to introduce himself, all right?”

As soon as her voice faded, a new round of topic began on the public forum:

“Three cucumbers, the first sentence that the male god says must be hello everyone, I am Secretly Captivated!!”

“You still need to bet about this? Male god’s opening remarks for events have always been this!”

Mo Lan looked at the public forum brushed* by the speed of light and couldn’t help but pouted and laughed. That’s right, everytime Secretly Captivated made opening remarks in YY, those were normally his words.

(so many comments being posted that the comments just keeps on scrolling by – internet slang in China)

Just as expected, in the next second, his voice clearly passed through the headphones and into her ear:

“Hello everyone, I am Secretly Captivated. Very sorry to have disappeared for a while, I know you’ve all been waiting for me, but… how do I put it, in fact this time’s reappearance*, I’m also not sure how long will I stay, in short, I still hope that in this limited time, I can deliver additional greater works and memories for everyone.”

(復出 fù chū = to come back out of retirement/to get involved again after having withdrawn – lit return go-out – I don’t want to use the whole phrase every time as you can see it’s super short in Chinese and it won’t flow as well so I’ll just use reappearing/reappearance at times)

He, just in that way, like a balmy cloud and light wind glided over, and muttered softly, the rim of Mo Lan’s eyes had turned somewhat red, she stretched her hand out and started typing:

“It doesn’t matter if male god withdrew from the circle. I will never ever forget your voice in this lifetime, really especially thank God for enabling me to experience your type of voice… may your work in the 3D world go smoothly, may you have good health and be happy every day!”

As if spurred on by Mo Lan, the fans also began to express their emotions one by one:

“In fact, I am very satisfied that you can pick up new works. Even if you withdrew after only one drama, it is better than none. You probably won’t know how many people have heard your voice, once they’ve heard then cried.”

“Mi Da, do you know, every night on the way home after studying, the road was extremely black and dark, but I have never been afraid, because I had your voice accompanying me.”

“I haven’t said anything yet… reading all of your words makes me wanna cry…”

Purple Ceramic Glaze took a deep breath, quickly renewed her spirits and continued hosting: “Say girls, this new work doesn’t mean he’s leaving the circle all right? Why is each and everyone of you acting as if this was his farewell gathering… okay okay, let’s start today’s interview with a small interactive session ba, snatch the mic! En, whoever manages to grab it, you can personally make a request with Secretly Captivated SAMA, how about that, are you satisfied with this benefit?”

After speaking, she spoke again and asked Secretly Captivated: “Mi Da, now firstly, you specify two numbers.”

“Hmm…” Secretly Captivated pondered for a bit and then said, “Let’s go with 77 and 207.”

Purple Ceramic Glaze laughed: “Mi Da, do you have a soft spot for number 7? Okay, now the room admin will first disable Su Qingmo DaDa and Xiao Luo Bo’s mics, I will count three two one. Everybody, don’t think twice, hurry up come and snatch the mic!”

Following Purple Ceramic Glaze’s countdown, Mo Lan placed her mouse on the ‘Snatch Mic’ button, even the atmosphere daren’t make a sound.

“Three, two, one, snatch the mic starts!”

The room was quiet for a few seconds, then, Zi Liuli’s voice materialised: “Number 77… Tender Girl* classmate, en… there’s more, number 207, Ye Lanshan* classmate, congratulations!”

(軟妹 ruǎn mèi – soft/flexible younger-sister – soft sister sounds wrong >.<)
(夜闌珊 yè lán shān – means late at night. the lan is the same as Mo Lan’s lan)

Ye Lanshan?

Mo Lan, who hasn’t yet returned to her senses, was stunned.

She managed to snatch it?

Are you serious……

She scrolled down one by one on the mic sequence, and sure enough you could see number 207’s mic clearly, she was astonished to find that her mic indicator was green.

“Okay, now, let’s get number 77 Tender Girl classmate on the mic! Don’t be shy, it’s such a great opportunity to be in close range with male god, if you have any request as long as it’s not too overboard, you can just bring it up!” Purple Ceramic Glaze sweet pleasant voice resounded, but it seemed that all at once, it all striked Mo Lan’s heart.

After number 77 finished speaking, it would be her turn.

Oh my god… has my moral standing been bursting to the seams recently? Unexpectedly, she could speak one-on-one with male god on YY?

On her side, she was still blanking out, totally mystified that this good news just dropped into her lap. In the room, the online ID Tender Girl had already spoken:

“Mi Da, I’m your fangirl*!”

(脑残粉 nǎo cán fěn – lit. brain broken powder)

The soft voice trembled beyond recognition, accompanied by a faint sob.

Mo Lan acknowledged that she could totally understand that girl’s current mood. Because her hand that currently held the mouse was trembling constantly.

Secretly Captivated blanked out for a moment, then, he chuckled softly, gentle like a spring breeze brushing by your face in March: “Thank you. If you have any request, you can ask me now.”

The girl paused, then said timidly: “I, I don’t really have a serious request. When Mi Da does post on Weibo, please @ me, any post will do… My Sina* ID is Cute Cute* Is Tender Girl.”

(Weibo’s full name is actually Sina Weibo)
(meng meng – a loanword from Japanese moe, slang describing affection for a cute character)

“That’s it? No problem.” Secretly Captivated’s voice held a smile, when he said “That’s it”, the last syllable lilt up, it added a little charm, and made the listeners’ hearts trembled.

The host Purple Ceramic Glaze couldn’t help but hated iron for not becoming steel*, “Aiya younger sister, how could you waste such a once-in-a-blue-moon opportunity ah, made me wanna say, you all truly extremely pampered him too much!”

(恨铁不成钢 hèn tiě bù chéng gāng – to feel resentful towards somebody for failing to meet expectations and impatient to see improvement)

Pampered him too much? Mo Lan glanced at the comments on the public forum which was full of “Younger sister begging for mercy!”, “Younger sister begging to be let go!” etc, and couldn’t help smiling, it seemed, this was indeed the case.

“But, I really don’t have any other requests…” The girl’s soft voice sounded, and she seemed to be still immersed in the joy of grabbing the mic and had no reaction.

Purple Ceramic Glaze sighed, “Okay, okay, room admin, let’s take our Tender Girl classmate off the mic. Mi Da, later don’t forget to post on Weibo after the interview is over!”

“For sure.”

His voice was obviously indiscernible, but when he said those two words, there was a sense of him dropping small beads on a jade plate, very magnetic.

As she tried to extricate herself from being intoxicated by his voice, suddenly, Mo Lan realised that her mic had been unmuted by the room admin.

At the same time, Purple Ceramic Glaze’s lively and sweet voice announced: “Now it’s our number 207 Ye Lanshan classmate, younger sister, you can’t be as wasteful as Tender Girl was just now. If you have any request, please say it boldly. After passing this village, you certainly will not have this shop anymore.”

In the silence, Mo Lan took a deep breath, and tried to suppress her excitement. She spoke softly, her voice as always gentle and agreeable: “Well… I too do not have any big request, just hope that male god could say my name, then recite the classic line from《Difficulty Loving Deeply》. “

Secretly Captivated suddenly went silent.

He was silent for about ten seconds, which made Mo Lan a little bit nervous.

In her heart, she wasn’t sure if her request was a bit too much. Suddenly, the low voice of the other party quietly appeared, in an unhurried tone, a little lazily, just like the rolling clouds stretching to the ends of the earth, he spoke, word by word: “Ye, Lan, Shan?”

Struck unequivocally squarely at the heart.

Instantly bewildered and confused by his voice, Mo Lan’s heart practically shattered. Struggling hard to salvage a hint of rationality, her tone could not help but quivered as she replied: “Yes… I am Ye Lanshan.”

Male god actually called her name… amiable and gripping a hundred and thousands of times over… ah ah ah, after you go back, you must edit this part out and loop it ten thousand times!

“Which line do you want to hear?” Secretly Captivated smiled slightly, and for no reason his tone was somewhat more tender.

“I want to hear… to yearn for a home, that part.” Mo Lan summoned up all her courage to asked, after all, this line was her favorite among all of his dubbed works, 《Cross Me》’s line… was really just too cruel.

As soon as Mo Lan said this, the fans on the public forum have begun to frantically brushed the screen:

“Dang! Sister, we are fellow enthusiasts! Tong Da loves that classical poem!”

“I would say that previously because I’ve heard male god delivered those lines so I purposely copied《Autumn Wind Poem》2333333”

“Sister boldly begging, in a moment can I edit it as my ringtone!”

“Upstairs, seeking recording!”

“Seeking recording +1”

“Seeking recording +10086”

Secretly Captivated stayed silent for a moment, then, he spoke, the first word just emerged, and immediately captured everybody’s ears:

“To yearn for a home, is to yearn for hardship. This life-time yearning was my life-time memory, a brief yearning led to endless destitute…”

One word at a time, extremely romantic, it was the perfect reproduction of the handsome and popular young marquis on a horse, passing by Chang’an City.

After a pause, he chuckled again, clearly a rich and elegant voice. At this moment, his voice faintly carried a hint of bitterness and sorrow, “It’s difficult to commit to love deeply but that is love. I’ve finally understood this poem, however, was it too late?”

Blankly listening to him, Mo Lan in a split second couldn’t seem to hear anything, unable to also see anything, from her ears to her heart, only the tenderness blended with the bitterness of this person’s voice remained. Even for days on end, tranquillity continued.

“Male god… can you tell me how did you achieve this innate sense of the drama? Just a second into the drama and I wanted to cry!!!”

“Really really very nice to listen to, my mind is a bit confused at the moment, I want to slow down first…”

“Became the marquis in a second, don’t you think so?!*”

(有木有 yǒu mù yǒu – (slang) come on, you can’t deny it! – cool slang)

Mo Lan finally came back to her senses, and she whispered a little embarrassedly, “Thank, thank you male god, your voice was really nice.”

“You’re not bad either.” Secretly Captivated replied with his real voice, low, somewhat aloof, but still very gentle, word by word, captured her ears, and lived in her heart.

In this weird silence, the host Purple Ceramic Glaze tittered, and then a little awkwardly: “Wow, even I can’t stand it… eh, room admin, quickly snap out of it! First mute the sister’s mic, at the same time we want to thank Ye Lanshan sister for the benefits she brought us, later on once you guys have finished editing the recording, please send me a copy! Next, let’s welcome Xiao Luo Bo up to sing a song for us!”

The atmosphere at the scene was still very enthusiastic, the fans were still passionately flooding the forum and it didn’t seem like it would settle down. And Mo Lan merely touched her blushing cheeks that was almost hot enough to burn, suddenly quite stupidly wanted to turn on the air-conditioner… The refrigerator kind…

Right when the out-of-control thought occurred, suddenly, the YY window jittered a little, on it wrote ‘Secretly Captivated wants to be your friend’.

A pair of clear white and black eyes widened, and widened again, immediately, Mo Lan moved her hand, and chose ‘Reject’.

No way? Male god wanted to add her, and she unexpectedly actually rejected him?! Mo Lan wanted to cry looking at her right hand, simply wanting to chop it up to the rhythm of every minute. She carried a hint of hope and opened up Secretly Captivated’s ID, then clicked ‘Add Friend’, and sure enough, the window showed that he refused everybody’s invitation.

Simply heartbroken without any trace, okay…

However, in the next second, the window popped up again, and there was still Secretly Captivated’s friend request.

Mo Lan wholly felt that she was about to cry with happiness, her heart went putong putong* and fluttered fiercely like a rabbit, without any hesitation, she accepted.

(扑通 pū tōng – sound of object falling into water – i.e. her heartbeat)

Secretly Captivated: Ye Lanshan?

Ye Lanshan: Male god… it’s me!

Secretly Captivated: Your voice was very nice.

Ye Lanshan: Ah… really QVQ, male god, you should have been robbed right?

Secretly Captivated: Wasn’t.

Ye Lanshan: Oh oh, that’s good, I’m really just too lucky, male god are you purposely adding friends today?

Secretly Captivated: Nope. Mind giving me your WeChat* number?

(similar to Whatsapp, Line, FB messenger)

Mo Lan saw this sentence and hesitated for a moment, then she stretched out, and unhesitatingly offered with both hands her old but real WeChat number.

Ye Lanshan: Of course I don’t mind! My WeChat number is ylslalzm1990.

Not long after this message was sent, Mo Lan saw her phone screen that sat on the computer desk lighted up. She picked it up and saw that it was a WeChat friend notification: Please verify GYM’s application to be your friend*.

(Unlike Whatsapp or Line – WeChat requires you to verify that you know this person before you can send and receive messages. I think FB messenger sorts of does it as well but not really)

And on the application description, there were just four* simple words written: I am Secretly Captivated.

(There are 6 words in Chinese though – I am An Li Zhao Mi)

Mo Lan felt… she was about to faint from her heart’s arrhythmia.

Ambulance… come and rescue her T^T, she definitely did not want to be that love-struck fool, the first person in the world to suddenly die of overexcitement over a male god adding her as a friend!

After passing the verification of the other party, in the next second, the other party sent a message, Mo Lan’s fingertips quivered and tapped open, only seven words:

GYM: It’s quite late, still not sleeping ma?

As soon as the words were sent over, Mo Lan instantly felt that she should be good and go brush her teeth, wash her face, then lie down on the bed, and resolutely just lie down even if she couldn’t sleep, otherwise the heavens would rage and the earth would complain!

But……

Momo: Male god… I want to sleep after listening to your interview.

GYM: When Qingmo finishes singing this song, then it should be over.

Through the headphones Su Qingmo’s rich and mellow uncle’s voice earnestly sang an ancient song, but all Mo Lan could think about now was…

Momo: Umm, why have you never sung on YY before?

GYM: Want to listen? I’ll sing for you another day.

… Mo Lan completely wanted to proclaim that she surrendered.

Momo: Male god, I have been your fan for four years… I really don’t believe you are Secretly Captivated himself…

The other party was silent for a while, and after about fifteen to sixteen seconds, Mo Lan saw that he sent a… voice message!!!

Swiftly she took off her headphones that was attached to her ear, in the stillness of the room, Mo Lan took a deep breath, mouthed these few words sè jí shì kōng kōng jí shì sè*, her hand then reached out, shook somewhat, opened the notification, then clicked on the voice message.

(色即是空空即是色 sè jí shì kōng kōng jí shì sè – sort of meditating like – don’t think the meaning is important)

The surroundings were very quiet, his voice was light as water, it echoed lowly, clearly and distinctly as if he was whispering right into her ears, a charming and gentle endless scene: “Do you believe I’m real now? It’s already half past ten, it’s not good for a girl to sleep so late.”

‘PLOP’ Mo Lan’s phone gloriously fell to the ground again.

After a few seconds, Mo Lan bowed her head, flusteredly picked her phone up and quiveringly typed her reply:

Momo: Male god I am going to bed right now! Good night!

GYM: Good night.

Mo Lan absentmindedly* logged out of YY, switched off the computer, stiffly walked out of her bedroom and washed her face as well as rinsed her mouth. After she finished washing, she stiffly came out from the bathroom, and intended on returning to her bedroom to sleep. Unexpectedly, a shriek came suddenly from the living room.

(神游天外 shén yóu tiān wài – from what I gather, the first two words means to go on a mental journey/fugue, last two means beyond the horizon/far far away)

Mo Lan stood and stared blankly at the face that stood across from her, An Xiaoluo who just returned got a fright and turned pale, silently without saying a thing.

An Xiaoluo took a closer look and realised that it was Mo Lan who stood in front of her. Her deathly white complexion relaxed a little. She smoothed herself down, and her eyes still indicated panicked: “Xiao Lan… Floating around in the living room in the middle of the night, I would have mistaken you for a ghost, you know!”

And Mo Lan, still expressionless, trembled as she stretched out her arms, then murmured softly, “Cousin… quickly bite me, I also suspect I’m already dead… died of happiness…”

It was as if An Xiaoluo was looking at a mental illness patient, back and forth then hummed quietly: “Crazy girl, I want to look for Secretly Captivated’s YY official recording from today, I’ve got nothing to say to people like you who have watched the live broadcast.”

As a result, tonight, Mo Lan lay rigidly on the bed, the words continuously floated in her ears: To yearn for a home, is to yearn for hardship. This life-time yearning was my life-time memory, a brief yearning led to endless destitute.

Distinguished and gorgeous, incomparable in the world.

After a while, once again it seemed as if she heard his voice echoed deeply beside her ears, lazily, gently, extremely magnetic, as if a layer of white muslin covered over the silver-white moonlight, gentle and dreamlike, intoxicatingly beautiful*.

(如痴如醉 rú chī rú zuì – idiom – as if drunk and stupefied/fig intoxicated by something)

He said: “Do you believe I’m real now? It’s already half past ten, it’s not good for a girl to sleep so late.”

Mo Lan bit her quilt, her mind in a daze, simply wanting to shed some tears, her eyes continuously opened, she lay rigidly until three or four o’clock in the wee hours, her body eventually overpowered her consciousness, and she finally fell into a bewildered dreamland.

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Additional notes:
1. 脑残粉 nǎo cán fěn – lit. brain broken powder. The fen is slang for fan. It means a fan so crazily obsessed that their brain turned into mush/powder. And a fangirl means a girl or woman who is an extremely or overly enthusiastic fan of someone or something, to exhibit fandom often to an excessive degree or to behave like an extremely devoted or overly excited fangirl. I have seen translators translated it as brain powder fan too 🙂

Me: Squeeee~ When I first read it, I thought SC already knew Mo Lan was going to be number 207 but the third time through and it seemed that one wouldn’t actually know who would be a particular number. So he recognised her voice?? Swoon.

p.s. Sorry for the late post – have been busy getting ready for WFH time. Praying that you’re safe wherever you are!