Captivated By You: Chapter 1

THERE’S COINCIDENTAL FATE
THERE’S PROVIDENTIAL FATE

[To yearn for a home
Is to yearn for hardship
This life-time of yearning is my life-time memory
A brief yearning leads to endless destitution…
It’s difficult to commit to love deeply but that is love. I’ve finally understood this poem, however, is it too late?]

The touching and pleasant sound came from the headphones. The first two sentences were romantically rewarding, and the last two sentences crushes your heart^*. Speaking of the last sentence, the original gorgeous voice became a bit huskier and bitter, mixed with an inaudible sigh, tender yet desperate. Just by listening to this sentence would almost make one’s eyes red.

(it was translated as intestines and I thought it didn’t sound as romantic)

A good voice was probably like good wine buried in the red dust for centuries. It was mellow, clear, and fragrant… Just quietly listening, it was as if you were drunk in a dream unable to differentiate the times.

With her headphones, Mo Lan quietly closed her eyes and rested. It was crowded on the bullet train, and voices echoed one after another. There were office workers on the phone discussing business, crying children, and women chatted busily accompanied by sharp ear-piercing laughter.

But these sounds weren’t able to reach Mo Lan.

Because she was currently listening to a radio drama by Secretly Captivated.

The name of the radio drama was 《Difficulty Loving Deeply*》. A love story of missed opportunities and regrets that took place during the Northern Song Dynasty.

(難賦深情 nán fù shēn qíng – Difficult to give attention, difficult to assign feelings, indifference, word by word it translates to difficulty distress deep-emotion/feeling/love – feel free to choose whichever floats your boat)

The hero of the story, dramatised by Secretly Captivated, was a distinguished and accomplished young marquis* in Chang’an City who was addicted to paper and gold*. He had always believed that one should always enjoy the present*. He could spend extravagantly in a brothel as well as clothe the orphans by the roadside. He was fond of saying, “I’m actually sincere”. Even so, he has never done anything half-heartedly.

(小侯爺 xiǎo hóu yé – I’m not sure if it’s the protagonist’s name or it’s referring to his official ranking as a nobleman/officer/marquis)
(an idiom: living the high life/luxury life)
(another idiom: carpe diem, to live happily with no thought for the future)

In order to curry favour with the young marquis, the son of a high-ranking official gifted a blind girl to him. She became blind at 14 due to an accident. Her appearance was nothing out of the ordinary. However, to have a highly retentive memory, and being able to calligraph skillfully, showed one’s eloquence.

Wanting to change to a fresh perspective, the marquis, in order to demonstrate that he had a splendid temperament and an above-average personality that came recommended from the Book of Songs, brought the blind girl along with him. They toured around the city, recited poetry together as well as appreciated the world of mortals.

One day, on a rafting boat on West Lake, the marquis was suddenly ambushed by an assassin. At that time, he still held the peony flowers in his arms when suddenly a sharp silver glint arrow came rushing through the wind. While everyone was flustered, it was the blind girl who silently ran out of a corner and rushed towards the marquis.

The arrow hit her heart. She died instantaneously.

Later, when the marquis returned to his mansion and packed her things up, he unexpectedly came across a copybook for calligraphy. Among the pages was a copy of Li Bai’s “Autumn”, a poet from the Tang Dynasty:

To yearn for a home
Is to yearn for hardship
This life-time of yearning is my life-time memory
A brief yearning leads to endless destitution

Beautiful, refined, elegant. Such emotional words.

With a flash of understanding and while holding the copybook, the marquis involuntarily started crying bitterly.

His body was still alive yet his heart was dead. Hereafter, he never married, and remained a bachelor throughout his reticent life.

The radio drama ended and the background music lingered on, Mo Lan sighed slightly and took off her headphones.

No matter how many times she listened to this radio drama, she could still sense the sorrow and all sorts of feelings builded up in her heart.

《Difficulty Loving Deeply》was Secretly Captivated’s debut radio drama. Immediately after the first episode was released, as soon as his first line came up, he instantly captured countless of voice-enthusiasts.

From the stereo sound system, he gently folded his fan, the beautiful man off the stage lowered his eyebrow, with a pleasant-sounding Wu dialect as well as his unrivaled gorgeous and distinguished tone: “Asked you for one with bright eyes and white teeth, you unexpectedly gave me a blind woman. But….. having got used to the real colour of a peony tree,  it turned out to be quite interesting too.”

Just by merely listening to his voice, one could just imagine, that year dubbing as Beijing’s marquis, how a young, distinguished and accomplished, fresh clothed vigorous knight flushed with success.

Mo Lan turned off the music on her phone and revealed a gentle beautiful smile. She still remembered… At that time, the radio drama had just been released for less than three days, where the number of Weibo fans for Secretly Captivated reached a thousand within a day, and it broke records within a week.

Inevitably, almost all of the voice enthusiasts fell for his perfect voice including her.

The phone beeped, Mo Lan lowered her head, and found that her battery was now less than 10%. Taking out her powerbank from the bag, Mo Lan casually charged her phone. As a voice enthusiast, a powerbank was necessary for any outings, because she may have faced the dilemma of a red battery after she listened to radio dramas.

Just as her perfunctory thoughts ran around her head, suddenly, the train made an announcement. A pleasant female’s mechanical voice sounded:

“Our next station is Hangzhou East Station, passengers who are getting off at the next station, please be prepared. Make sure to bring your belongings with you, so as to avoid unnecessary inconvenience to your journey. Thank you for your cooperation, the Harmony Train Group wishes you a pleasant journey.”

Finally.

Mo Lan placed her mobile phone into her bag along with the powerbank, and stretched lazily.

She checked her seat again and confirmed that nothing was amiss, Mo Lan stood up from her seat, and planned to line up by the door of the carriage. Barely a few steps, suddenly, her footsteps paused.

Turning her head, she looked at the man who sat at an angle, he wore a plaid coat, and was asleep. She suddenly felt that this person seemed familiar.

There was no one beside him, his head lowered, and his black hair covered most of his face, his sleeping posture seemed smooth and steady.

After her mind rapidly processed, yet she still didn’t have the slightest recollection. Mo Lan shook her head, and felt that she might have mistakenly remembered, she was about to walk away, but from the corner of her eyes, she saw the bullet train ticket that the man placed on the small table, which clearly stated “Nanjing South – Hangzhou East”.

Was he also getting off at the Hangzhou East Railway Station?

So… did he not hear the reminder just now?

Mo Lan frowned slightly, she knew that the train would arrive at the next station in roughly five minutes, if he continued sleeping, most likely he would have bypassed his intended station. Mo Lan imagined that scenario, if he did bypass his station, then… it would be quite troublesome.

In all of Mo Lan’s twenty four years – which was not considered long but it wasn’t that short either, she had never before experienced striking up a conversation with a stranger. Although she felt quite embarrassed, she still approached the man, pursed her lips, and whispered softly, “Umm… this mister, please wake up.”

She persistently called out three times but the other party still showed no sign of waking up.

So, Mo Lan reached out and gently patted the man’s shoulders.

The next moment, the sleeping man moved a bit, then the man covered his mouth with his hands, as if he yawned, and unhurriedly looked up.

“Oh……”

A monosyllabic word was issued indistinctly. The man lazily raised his head a bit. A pair of drowsy eyes looked at her somewhat doubtfully, his temperament turned out to be unexpectedly cool and clean.

But Mo Lan completely focused on the wrong point. She looked into the man’s eyes and couldn’t help but admire them in her heart. The man’s eyes were very beautiful – wickedly beautiful. His pupils… an opaque hint of the peach blossom* colour, a bit like the charming fox fairy from the Qing Dynasty Book of Tales.

(an idiom for love affairs/relationship)

Alarmed by her rambling thoughts, Mo Lan looked away mortified, and reminded him with a slight hint of awkwardness in her voice: “Umm, mister, I saw that you were still sleeping, so I thought to just remind you that we will be reaching Hangzhou East Railway Station real soon.”

“Oh…” The man rubbed his eyes, as if he was finally awake.

And when Mo Lan turned her eyes upon him again, she found that those eyes were clearly black and white now with no hint of the opaque color from before.

The man in front of her opened his mouth as if he was trying to say something. Suddenly, the train announced again — “We have arrived at Hangzhou East Station. Please get off the train as soon as possible.”

Mo Lan lingered for a moment, and self-consciously said, “I’ll get off the train first.”

After she spoke, Mo Lan didn’t even wait for an answer, she turned around and hurriedly got off the train. Her slender figure quickly disappeared into the crowd.

Behind her, a pair of eyes looked thoughtfully toward her direction, his attention focused. Afterwards, he unhurriedly stood up, his stature tall and aloof, and lazily walked off the train.

Mo Lan stepped out of the train station and took a taxi directly to the headquarters of the editing agency who had close contacts with the magazine agency she worked for. She took a copy of the materials arranged by the boss, and took it to get it stamped. Then, she walked out. Without making any other stops, she took a taxi directly to Hangzhou West Lake.

Speaking of which, this was her first visit to Hangzhou.

Mo Lan’s profession was an amateur author. She worked part-time in a small and well-known magazine agency. Each month she finished her work within the deadline and occasionally published her short articles in the magazine.

Speaking of which, today’s business trip wasn’t actually Mo Lan’s responsibility but the colleague who was supposed to make the trip had something else come up so Mo Lan, who had always been good-tempered, offered to help with this easy job.

Nevertheless, she had an ulterior motive in making this trip which was to visit the West Lake. After all, in the radio drama《Difficulty Loving Deeply》, she was deeply moved by the scene where the blind girl took the arrow for the marquis – this scene happened right above the blue waters of West Lake.

Obviously, there was only sound with no pictures, but just by listening to it, you could also experience the fickle-minded marquis’ moment of heartache and despair.

“Girl*, don’t scare me, we haven’t finished the five-character poem, the peach blossom wine hasn’t been brewed yet… Don’t sleep, open your eyes and look at me again… Are you listening, I won’t let you sleep in the future!”

(丫頭 yā tou – girl/servant girl – used deprecatingly, but also sometimes as a term of endearment – thought it might help to imagine)

He imperceptibly narrowed his eyes. Mo Lan clearly remembered that when Secretly Captivated spoke, his voice also trembled slightly towards the end, as if… the pain was so obviously ingrained right to his bone but he still resisted reality.

There was an indescribable sense of complete emotion in that sentence. He vividly and thoroughly grasped the emotion, it was just perfect. Less of a bland scorn and more of extreme concentration*.

(少一分嫌淡，多一分太濃 shǎo yī fēn xián dàn, duō yī fēn tài nóng – this was hard. I might come back to this. I came back and it’s the same.)

After becoming Secretly Captivated’s fan, Mo Lan’s biggest wish was for Secretly Captivated to one day dub one of her own radio dramas. For this very reason, she neglected her sleep and forgot about eating* and continued typing during the day and throughout the night. Afterwards, she couldn’t endure anymore and fell asleep at the computer desk. When she woke up again, she found out that his fans, on Weibo, the main discussion forum included, had already exploded.

(廢寢忘食 fèi qǐn wàng shí – an idiom meaning to be completely wrapped up in one’s work skipping sleep and meals)

The reason was because Secretly Captivated changed his profile description to three short words: no new ones*.

(不接新 bù jiē xīn – literally no pick new = not picking up any new works)

Consequently from then on, he really seemed to have disappeared from the internet community, he did not accept any invitations, he did not dub any dramas, he did not record, and he did not signed into YY*. For the past three years, he even rarely posted on Weibo, let alone on PāPā*.

(YY – if you’ve read Really Really Miss You, you would know what it is. It’s an online virtual platform where there are many different “rooms and channels” and you can have as many as one to millions of people in at the same time. Click here to learn more about it)
(PāPā – from what I understand, it’s kinda like Insta with sound-bites instead of captions. You can then post it on Weibo and other social media.)

His fans intended to keep their delusion until the very last minute but were tormented at the end and gave up all hope. However, as the world of the Internet Voice Circle and CVs kept on growing and although Secretly Captivated haven’t accepted any new works, his fans did not decrease. Not even the slightest amount. Just like the tidal current, there was always an influx of new and old fans.

After all… about eight out of the ten people would have decided to step into the world of the Internet Voice Circle after they had listened to his radio drama.

Her, for instance.

“Little girl, we’ve reached.” The driver stopped the car, turned back and revealed a simple and honest smile.

“Ah… thank you, shī fù*.”

(師傅 – respectful form of address for older men)

She came back to reality, after she paid, Mo Lan got out of the car with anticipation.

As soon as she got out of the car, she straightaway felt the cold wind hit her face. Bone-chilling penetrating piercing cold. She couldn’t help but pull up the collar of her down jacket. Mo Lan figured that it wasn’t just Nanjing. This winter, it seemed that no matter which city she was in, it was cold.

Mo Lan wore her woollen hat and tidied up her strands of hair that had escaped, her expression filled with excitement. She tiptoed and gazed into the distance – the gleaming reflection of the waves, the billows tossing in the centre of the lake. She then lifted her feet up and walked towards the lake, where it was known for its beauty*.

(淡妆浓抹总相宜 dàn zhuāng nóng mǒ zǒng xiāng yí – an idiom meaning in light or heavy makeup – (from what I could gather) Su Shi, a northern Song Dynasty writer and calligrapher wrote 欲把西湖比西子，淡妆浓抹总相宜 which meant West Lake resembled Xi Zi/Shi (a famous Chinese beauty from the four legendary beauties) regardless of how they were dressed either elegantly/simple or garishly, they were still beautiful. The first four words are used to describe a woman’s style. It’s pretty much a popular idiom for the West Lake. There, we both learnt something new.)

There was some ice on the lake, but perhaps because the weather was not cold enough, the center of the lake gleamed with reflection of the waves and was so clear that you could see the bottom. To the west, stood cherry trees, peach trees, Chinese parasol trees with their withering leaves hovered on withered branches, longing and lingering, unwilling to leave.

The gifted scholar from Tang Dynasty, Bai Juyi, once composed a poem that referred to West Lake. Clouds:

the shade from the green willow covered the woven-mat plank bed
red lotus brushed by the boat
scanned all around, full of love
it was hard to say goodbye by the lake

The willows, the boat and the lotus flowers in West Lake

(this was a very very very very hard poem to translate and I’m not even sure if I got the meaning right, especially the last two sentences – I still feel it has something to do with love as seen from the next paragraph but for the life of me I can’t figure it out. well if it comes up again in future chapters, then I’ll revisit the translation)

Mo Lan leisurely walked along the lakeside, the nearer she got, she couldn’t help but smile disappointedly. Could you find love everywhere just by turning around? Apparently, people from ancient times could really lie, indeed seeing with one’s own eyes was the best truth…

Because it was winter, there were not many tourists by the West Lake, and Mo Lan just happened to be by herself, quiet and peaceful.

Suddenly, in the silence, her mobile phone rang and it was an ancient style song. Mo Lan knitted her brows, took her phone out of her pocket, glanced at the screen and realised that it was her cousin*.

(表姐 biǎo jiě – older female cousin via female line)

Speaking of Mo Lan’s cousin, An Xiaoluo, she was also a true voice-enthusiast.

Two years ago, after Mo Lan graduated from university, she left her hometown of Wuzhen, Zhejiang and went to work in Nanjing. Conveniently, she seek shelter from her cousin sister who had been working in Nanjing for five years.

The two of them shared a two-bedroom and one-living room apartment. Although the area was not large, both the nearby transportation and shops as well as the community’s security system was awfully good, thus as a result they lived safely and comfortably.

After living together for a while, they unintentionally learnt that they were both voice enthusiast, consequently they both got out of control together*. It was also worth mentioning that in addition to being a voice enthusiast, An Xiaoluo was also known as Yin Zhimei, an ancient-style gold medalist in the internet dubbing community. In the Internet Voice Circle, she could also be considered as quite a well-known figure.

(一发不可收拾 yī fā bù kě shōu shi – once it gets started there’s no stopping it)

Mo Lan answered her phone, and even before she could say anything, she heard the other party speak excitedly and incoherently: “Oh oh oh! Xiao* Lan, Xiao Lan, did you know, Secretly Captivated SAMA* posted a PāPā! Basically, I’ve waited for the entire millennium, and it pretty much made me cry, you know!”

(xiao = small – a term of endearment normally attached to someone who is younger than you – this comes up quite a bit)
(SAMA – it was written like that in the raws. i think the author meant the Japanese honorific which usually is used to refer to customers who are deserving of the utmost respect status in Japan, people of higher rank, or somebody you admire)

Mo Lan was surprised, her right hand which held the phone slipped, and she almost dropped her phone: “Are you for real, today isn’t April Fool, right? I remember, the last time he posted a PāPā, it was during last year’s Spring Festival….”

“Of course it’s real, PāPā can deceive people but one’s voice can’t. I have already screenshot, already saved, already backup okay! At the moment, the comments under his Weibo are exploding, I am reminding you to quickly go listen!” The other party was still in the state of chicken blood*, and obviously had yet to calm down from the good news of this big day.

(After a few months, I found that there’s actually a Wiki article on it. It means full of excitement, along the lines of crazily excited)

Mo Lan’s frame of mind was unable to bear the full chicken-blood filled tone that provoked her to hurry up, she hurriedly returned to the conversation and ended the call.

At this time, she couldn’t care less about the internet rates and pretty much, without the slightest hesitation, she switched on her 3G. Mo Lan opened the PāPā app, and right on top was Secretly Captivated’s latest post.

The accompanying picture… turned out to be the winter scene of Hangzhou West Lake.

Realising that her heartbeat was a bit abnormal, Mo Lan took a deep breath, tried to suppress her current excited mind, and opened up the post.

[The shade from the green willow covered the woven-mat plank bed, red lotus brushed by the boat, scanned all around full of love, it was hard to say goodbye by the lake. Wu*… Hangzhou’s winter is also quite cold.]

(唔 sort of crying sound)

Her fingertips that touched the mobile could not help but tremble slightly. Mo Lan couldn’t help but sigh for the thousandth time, as expected… it was the sound of a one-shot-kill voice.

This PāPā post lasted for a total of fifty-eight seconds. The first forty seconds was the ancient poem, clear and resonant, full of love, practically intoxicating. There was a pause in the middle, then he somewhat lazily and tenderly muttered the last sentence. It was unexpectedly gentle, charming and touching, paired with his low tone, it seemed to want to aroused the bottom tip of your heart*. Although, perhaps, he merely wanted to convey that Hangzhou had a very cold winter.

(your innermost feelings)

Probably, this was the charm of a CV. It didn’t require each and every movement, but just by relying on one’s voice, one could capture people’s hearts.

Mo Lan repeatedly listened to the PāPā a dozen times, and then stretched her hand out to touch her cheek. In the cold winter month of January, she was mortified to have found herself blushing.

You couldn’t blame her… it was because Secretly Captivated’s voice was so fascinating, especially towards a girl who was nearly the same age, it was simply a seckill* skill.

(秒殺 miǎo shā – lit. second murder – an online gaming term: to kill an enermy within seconds)

With great difficulty, after she struggled to return to her senses, Mo Lan suddenly realised to her surprise that he had uttered the same ancient poem she had in her heart. Ergo… was this a meeting of minds between idol and fan? Mo Lan bit her lip and did not dare to believe it.

Because there wasn’t a computer nearby to save a backup, Mo Lan had no choice but to first choose PāPā’s offline cache. Then, she scrolled down her mobile screen, and it was no surprise to see the fans’ comments came in waves. In just five minutes, the number of comments and retweets had reached thousands.

“Male god, are you finally willing to accept new work? I’m already on Mt Tiantai* 23333*!”

(Mt Tiantai – the centre of Tiantai Buddhism so I’m assuming the person’s head is in the clouds.)
(23333 – on some messaging app thingy it represents a laughing face so the more 3s the more lols)

“I just want to cry, did you know how long have I not heard your voice on PāPā, I did say that my life would not ambiguously disappear just like that, anyhow I’ve already waited for 3 years, so you will return, right?!”

“I just told my mother that my ears were pregnant and I got a scolding. Rolling about and acting cute to receive new. Mi Da*, I want to have your child!”

(Mi – his last name (An Li Zhao Mi), Da = big – like Great Alexander. I’m keeping it as Da as I like it better)

Mo Lan’s fingertips flew about on the screen of the phone and also responded:

“Ears are pregnant! Male god I’m also in Hangzhou~ really a coincidence, since it’s so cold, you’ll need to wear more clothes. Don’t catch a cold ^^.”

She placed her phone back in the pocket, and couldn’t help curved her lips and revealed a gratified smile.

Currently, Secretly Captivated… is also in Hangzhou. Just thinking about it made one feel that even the surrounding air was fresher and more delightful than before.

You might not believe this but there was such a person in this world, when he was quiet, everything was fine. As soon as he spoke, the mountains trembled*.

(an idiom)

---

Me: I’m enjoying the story and the process of translating so far. My new hobby. Heh. I have decided to post weekly on Tuesday evenings. My time is GMT+12 so you figure it out yourself. I am translating in advance so that when I finish the novel, I can just post everything all at once. I know how hard it is waiting for a book to be finished! I will be busy for a few weeks once March ends so this is also to tide me during my busy periods.

Do let me know of any typos etc. Thanks for reading!

Edited: I contemplated back and forth a couple of times if I should change Internet Voice Circle to Internet Dubbing Circle. I decided to stick with Internet Voice Circle but please know that the voice is referring to voice dubbing.